January 2012
4 posts
2 tags
Jan 23rd
2,896 notes
2 tags
Family Dinner
Waitress: Wow, you remembered my name?
Michael: Yeah, well, you know, it's a cool name. It's not something boring, like Sara.
Me: Thanks, asshole.
Michael: Sorry, I forgot you were here.
Jan 23rd
1 note
3 tags
Jan 12th
21,713 notes
1 tag
Jan 9th
1,203 notes
December 2011
13 posts
just thinking about how 90% of my text posts are because of michael.
Dec 28th
1 note
2 tags
irl text with michael
michael: hahaha you ARE pretty! Especially when you shower, Poodle!
me: I TOTALLY SHOWERED.
Dec 28th
1 note
3 tags
No, just me? Liars.
You know that thing, where you think to yourself, “I don’t want to be sober when I meet up with this person…” So you drink a drink. But then it’s still not time, so you have another one. And it’s still half an hour until you meet up, so you say, “ok self. One more. But only because it’s walking distance.” And then it is time, and your new, fun...
Dec 23rd
4 notes
Dec 22nd
228 notes
1 tag
Dec 21st
688 notes
3 tags
Dec 21st
9 notes
2 tags
Dec 19th
5 notes
Dec 10th
5 notes
Winter.
Michael: did you bleed through your tights? Did you launch yourself out of a motor vehicle onto the sidewalk? Me: sometimes I hate how much you know about my life.
Dec 10th
3 notes
1 tag
Dec 7th
2 notes
2 tags
Dec 5th
My BfFfFfFfFf
Me: You know, I didn’t have time to put on lipstick before I left my house, do you think it would be alright to do that now? Michael: …Yeah. Me: I’ve never heard you care less about anything in your whole life. Michael: …Yeah.
Dec 4th
2 tags
“Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends...”
– NPR “A Victim Treats His Mugger Right”
Dec 2nd
November 2011
4 posts
4 tags
Nov 27th
3,383 notes
Dear boy who told me that cramps can't hurt THAT... →
Nov 15th
1 tag
After discussing multiple work-induced stressors.
Coworker Amanda: So, how is the life of Sara?
Me: Oh, I know.
A: *quizzical look*
Me: What?
A: What?
Me: Didn't you say, 'this is our life, Sara?'
A: No, I said, 'How is the life of Sara'
Me: Oh.
...
Me: I'm hibernating.
Nov 10th
Nov 6th
Nov 1st
8,021 notes
October 2011
6 posts
1 tag
Oct 9th
316 notes
3 tags
Oct 8th
2,218 notes
3 tags
Oct 8th
5,323 notes
1 tag
Oct 7th
15,684 notes
4 tags
Oct 3rd
14,762 notes
August 2011
5 posts
3 tags
Aug 31st
3 tags
Aug 28th
7 notes
4 tags
Listenkatie-kapulet: Forever Young - Audra Mae Sons...
Aug 25th
3 tags
Aug 21st
3 notes
2 tags
Me: What's that moon shaped thing hanging from the tree?
Michael: Claire put it up. That's the squirrel guard for the bird feeder.
Me: ...
Michael: ...
Me: Where's the bird feeder?
Michael: The squirrels got it.
Aug 20th
July 2011
1 post
1 tag
“Mamihlapinatapai: A look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.”
Jul 17th
June 2011
8 posts
2 tags
Jun 28th
690 notes
1 tag
Jun 24th
998 notes
2 tags
Jun 24th
14 notes
How are we going to get there?
Johnny: I'll give you a ride
Claire: we could take a bus?
Johnny: I'll give you a ride.
Michael: we could grab a cab.
Johnny: I'll give you a ride.
Me: what is this song?
Johnny: I'll give you a fucking ride.
Jun 18th
1 tag
Jun 13th
3 tags
Jun 12th
210 notes
Watching Inception (for the millionth time)
Michael: So this is like our generation's the Matrix, huh?
Me: No, our generation's Matrix was the Matrix.
Jun 12th
4 tags
Things I Am Presently Loving About Being Single...
1.) When I get a movie from RedBox, I can choose my own shitty movie without having to consider anyone else’s opinion. 2.) I can squeal and shake my fists like a two year old when Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off in every scene of every Twilight movie ever (guess what shitty movie I got). 3.) I can appreciate how much Taylor Lautner looks like my ex ex without feeling hugely guilty about...
Jun 7th
May 2011
7 posts
How I know I'm my mother's daughter
Mom: We're going to see the new Pirates movie because, Johnny Depp.
Her new bf: She would leave me for him.
Mom: He's on the list, yeah.
New bf: There's a list?
Mom: So is Jon Stewart. I'd marry Jon Stewart.
New bf (sarcastically): Anyone else?
Mom: Hugh Jackman...George Clooney...
New bf: Am I even on the list?
May 25th
1 note
1 tag
May 23rd
7 notes
1 tag
“Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no...”
– Dale Spender (via earlyfrost)
May 22nd
1,290 notes
May 18th
254 notes
Heathen.
What’s with all the rapture posts? Are people starting to take this seriously? That concerns me. Also concerning was the thought that maybe I’m not actually sick. Maybe I am getting a sneak preview of the rapture. In which case, I’m like a hipster of the apocalypse.
May 18th
4 tags
May 16th
2 tags
Listenlocomotiveyouth: hold on, hold on — neko case ...
May 3rd
7 notes
April 2011
9 posts
1 tag
About four years ago, my dad told me that in order to get over my then recent ex, I should “just meet someone.” He emphasized, the “just anyone” portion of that concept, as he thought it would be the only way I could love this city, and love where I was in my life. I was offended then, and though I wound up essentially taking his advice, I always resented it. This time he...
Apr 30th
newsinhaikus: Steve Jobs is tracking Your favorite public restrooms For future reference 
Apr 28th