February 2012
2 posts
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My personal interpretations of the lyrics in "The...
For those cynical about the ending of a beloved show: “It’s too late to change your mind/you let Lost be your guide”
For those cynical about theists: “It’s too late to change your mind/you let god be your guide”
For those that are pissed at themselves for feeling things: “It’s too late to change your mind/you let loss be your guide”
The...
January 2012
4 posts
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Family Dinner
Waitress: Wow, you remembered my name?
Michael: Yeah, well, you know, it's a cool name. It's not something boring, like Sara.
Me: Thanks, asshole.
Michael: Sorry, I forgot you were here.
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December 2011
13 posts
just thinking about how 90% of my text posts are because of michael.
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irl text with michael
michael: hahaha you ARE pretty! Especially when you shower, Poodle!
me: I TOTALLY SHOWERED.
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No, just me? Liars.
You know that thing, where you think to yourself, “I don’t want to be sober when I meet up with this person…” So you drink a drink. But then it’s still not time, so you have another one. And it’s still half an hour until you meet up, so you say, “ok self. One more. But only because it’s walking distance.” And then it is time, and your new, fun...
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Winter.
Michael: did you bleed through your tights? Did you launch yourself out of a motor vehicle onto the sidewalk?
Me: sometimes I hate how much you know about my life.
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My BfFfFfFfFf
Me: You know, I didn’t have time to put on lipstick before I left my house, do you think it would be alright to do that now?
Michael: …Yeah.
Me: I’ve never heard you care less about anything in your whole life.
Michael: …Yeah.
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Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends...
– NPR “A Victim Treats His Mugger Right”
November 2011
5 posts
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Dear boy who told me that cramps can't hurt THAT... →
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After discussing multiple work-induced stressors.
Coworker Amanda: So, how is the life of Sara?
Me: Oh, I know.
A: *quizzical look*
Me: What?
A: What?
Me: Didn't you say, 'this is our life, Sara?'
A: No, I said, 'How is the life of Sara'
Me: Oh.
...
Me: I'm hibernating.
October 2011
5 posts
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August 2011
5 posts
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Me: What's that moon shaped thing hanging from the tree?
Michael: Claire put it up. That's the squirrel guard for the bird feeder.
Me: ...
Michael: ...
Me: Where's the bird feeder?
Michael: The squirrels got it.
July 2011
1 post
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“Mamihlapinatapai: A look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.”
June 2011
8 posts
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How are we going to get there?
Johnny: I'll give you a ride
Claire: we could take a bus?
Johnny: I'll give you a ride.
Michael: we could grab a cab.
Johnny: I'll give you a ride.
Me: what is this song?
Johnny: I'll give you a fucking ride.
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Watching Inception (for the millionth time)
Michael: So this is like our generation's the Matrix, huh?
Me: No, our generation's Matrix was the Matrix.
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Things I Am Presently Loving About Being Single...
1.) When I get a movie from RedBox, I can choose my own shitty movie without having to consider anyone else’s opinion.
2.) I can squeal and shake my fists like a two year old when Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off in every scene of every Twilight movie ever (guess what shitty movie I got).
3.) I can appreciate how much Taylor Lautner looks like my ex ex without feeling hugely guilty about...
May 2011
7 posts
How I know I'm my mother's daughter
Mom: We're going to see the new Pirates movie because, Johnny Depp.
Her new bf: She would leave me for him.
Mom: He's on the list, yeah.
New bf: There's a list?
Mom: So is Jon Stewart. I'd marry Jon Stewart.
New bf (sarcastically): Anyone else?
Mom: Hugh Jackman...George Clooney...
New bf: Am I even on the list?
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Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no...
– Dale Spender (via earlyfrost)
Heathen.
What’s with all the rapture posts? Are people starting to take this seriously? That concerns me.
Also concerning was the thought that maybe I’m not actually sick. Maybe I am getting a sneak preview of the rapture. In which case, I’m like a hipster of the apocalypse.
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